Spotlight Article from our Exchange Magazine Autumn Edition 2024 from Steve Whittle, Founder of Tough To Talk, Author, and Presenter on Male Suicide Prevention, on Allyship.
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Poor male mental health is a critical issue that demands our urgent attention. Despite significant strides in mental health awareness, men continue to struggle in silence due to societal stigmas and expectations. This often-unspoken crisis can escalate to suicidal thoughts, making it imperative for allies, particularly women, to step forward and offer their support.
Understanding Men's Issues
Men face unique challenges that can severely impact their mental health. Societal norms often dictate that men should be stoic, strong, and emotionally resilient. This pressure to conform can lead to the suppression of emotions, making it difficult for men to seek help or express their struggles. The stigma associated with vulnerability in men can result in feelings of isolation, inadequacy, and hopelessness.
Unaddressed mental health issues can manifest in various ways, including irritability, substance abuse, withdrawal from social interactions, and aggressive behaviour. Over time, these manifestations can lead to severe mental health crises, including suicidal thoughts. The statistics are alarming: men are three to four times more likely to die by suicide compared to women. This stark reality underscores the urgent need for comprehensive support systems.
The Role of Female Allyship
Women play a crucial role in supporting men through these challenges. Female allyship involves understanding, empathy, and proactive engagement to create a supportive environment. Here are some ways women can contribute:
Identifying the Issues Recognising the signs of mental distress in men is the first step. Women can educate themselves about the symptoms of mental distress and be vigilant for changes in behaviour. This could include noticing when a man withdraws from activities he once enjoyed, exhibits mood swings, or starts using substances as a coping mechanism. Understanding these signs can prompt timely conversations and interventions.
Creating Supportive Environments Creating spaces for men to express their emotions without judgment is vital. Women can foster open communication by actively listening and validating men's feelings. Encouraging men to share their experiences and reassuring them that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, can significantly impact their willingness to seek help. Women can promote a culture of emotional openness by sharing their feelings and demonstrating healthy coping mechanisms. And in the workplace, advocating for mental health days and supporting policies that prioritize mental well-being can help create an environment where men feel more comfortable addressing their mental health needs.
Speaking Out on the Male Suicide Crisis Raising awareness about the male suicide crisis is crucial. Women can use their voices to advocate for change by participating in mental health campaigns, sharing informative content on social media, and engaging in community outreach. By highlighting the specific challenges men face, women can help dismantle the stigma around male vulnerability and promote a more inclusive dialogue on mental health.
Recognising & Adapting to Communication Differences
Understanding the inherent differences in how men and women communicate is crucial in offering effective support. Men often face societal expectations to be stoic and resilient, which can suppress their willingness to discuss emotional or mental health issues. This stoic nature and the stigma around vulnerability create a significant barrier to open communication.
Cognitive dissonance - a psychological conflict resulting from incongruent beliefs and behaviours - can further complicate the situation. Men who have internalised the notion that showing emotion is a sign of weakness might experience discomfort when encouraged to express their feelings. This discomfort can lead to resistance, making it challenging for them to accept help or even acknowledge their struggles.
Learning to Communicate Effectively
For women to effectively support men, it's essential to adapt communication strategies that respect these ingrained belief systems while gently challenging them. Here are some approaches:
Listen Actively and Non-Judgmentally: Active listening involves paying full attention to the speaker without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice. By showing empathy and understanding, women can create a space for men to open up. Reflective listening - paraphrasing what the man has expressed -can validate his feelings and demonstrate that he is heard and understood.
Use Indirect Approaches: Sometimes, direct questions about feelings or mental health can be intimidating. Women can use indirect methods, such as discussing general stressors or mental health in the context of external events or other people's experiences. This can make the conversation feel less aggressive and more relatable.
Acknowledge and Validate Emotions: It's important to acknowledge the man's emotions without judgment. Phrases like "It's okay to feel this way" or "Your feelings are valid" can help normalise emotional expression. Validation can reduce the cognitive dissonance men may feel when confronting their vulnerabilities.
Encourage Small Steps: Suggesting manageable actions, such as talking to a friend or writing down thoughts, can help men gradually open up without feeling overwhelmed. Encouraging incremental steps can build confidence and decrease resistance to seeking help.
Be Patient and Consistent: Change doesn't happen overnight. Women should be patient and consistent in their support. Regular check-ins and ongoing conversations about mental health can reinforce and normalise the message that it's okay to seek help and express emotions.
Educate on Emotional Literacy: Helping men build emotional literacy - the ability to identify and articulate their feelings - can be transformative. Women can introduce tools and techniques for emotional expression, such as mindfulness practices or journaling, which can facilitate self-awareness and emotional regulation.
A Collective Effort for Positive Change Addressing the male suicide crisis and preventing suicide requires collective action. Female allyship is a powerful force that can drive positive change. By identifying issues, creating supportive environments, and speaking out on the male suicide crisis, women can help break the cycle of silence and stigma.
In conclusion, the battle against male suicide is not one that men should fight alone. Women, as allies, can offer support, foster understanding, and advocate for change. Together, we can build a society where men feel empowered to seek help, express their emotions, and live healthier, happier lives.
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